By Cary Carbonaro, CFP® March 24, 2026 | Originally Posted Here
“We’ll never solve the feminization of power until we solve the masculinity of wealth.” Gloria Steinem
That quote stopped me in my tracks the first time I read it. Years later, it came full circle when I was invited through the Milken Institute’s Women’s Financial Security Initiative to join Gloria Steinem for an intimate discussion with about 20 women leaders from the wealth management industry. Sitting in that room, reflecting on her words together, it was impossible not to think about how profoundly true they are, especially when viewed through the lens of divorce.
Why divorce planning matters for women
Divorce is not just an emotional rupture; it is a financial earthquake. And while divorce reshapes the financial lives of both partners, women can be disproportionately impacted in ways that are deeper, longer lasting and often invisible until it’s too late. After more than 25 years as a CFP® professional working closely with women, I’ve seen this reality play out across every income level from middle-class households to ultra-high-net-worth families.
This is why I often say: Money equals power, and women need more of both.
Women can be more financially vulnerable after divorce for structural reasons that have little to do with personal failure and everything to do with how money, work, caregiving and wealth have historically been divided in our society. Gloria Steinem’s quote captures the heart of the issue. Wealth — how it is accumulated, controlled and protected — has long been shaped through a masculine lens. Divorce simply exposes the consequences of that imbalance.
First, women are more likely to experience a significant drop in their standard of living after divorce. Even when assets are divided “fairly,” women often leave with less income, fewer opportunities to rebuild wealth and greater day-to-day financial responsibility. Many women step back from their careers to raise children, manage households or support a spouse’s professional ascent. Those contributions, while invaluable, rarely show up on balance sheets or settlement agreements.
Second, women live longer than men. Longevity is a gift, but financially it is also a risk, especially post-divorce. A woman divorcing in her 50s or 60s may need her assets to last 30 years or more, often with reduced Social Security benefits, smaller retirement accounts and higher health-care costs. At precisely the stage when compounding should be working hardest for her, she may instead be starting over.
Third, women are more likely to retain custody of children, which brings ongoing financial responsibilities that far exceed child-support calculations. Housing, education, healthcare and everyday-living costs don’t disappear when a marriage ends. Yet many women underestimate what it truly costs to run a household alone especially during the emotionally charged early years of divorce, when decisions are often made quickly and under stress.
Financial Planning Becomes Essential
Another critical and often overlooked factor is financial visibility during marriage. Many women tell me they were “involved” but not informed: attending meetings, signing documents, but not driving strategy. Others were intentionally excluded or told not to worry. Divorce becomes the moment when women are suddenly expected to understand investments, taxes, insurance and long-term planning often while grieving the loss of a relationship and a shared future.
This is where financial planning becomes not just important, but essential.
- About 5% of women use/consult a financial advisor while going through a divorce (i.e., “over 95% do not”).
- More than 60% of divorced women later say they wish they had used a financial advisor during the divorce.
- A broader stat (not “during divorce,” but by marital status) found about 18% of divorced women engage a financial advisor.
Women don’t need to adopt traditionally aggressive financial postures. What they need is clarity, confidence and control. They need advisors who understand that divorce is not a transaction, it is a life transition. One that intersects with identity, health, career, family and fear.
Financial planning for women navigating divorce must be holistic. It must address cash flow, asset division, tax planning, long-term sustainability and legal coordination — not just the settlement itself. Just as importantly, it must acknowledge the emotional side of money. Fear doesn’t disappear when it’s ignored; it simply shows up later as regret.
The conversation I had with Gloria Steinem and with other women leaders committed to changing this industry reinforced what I’ve believed for years: If we truly want to address the feminization of power, we must confront the systems that have historically kept women from wealth. That means encouraging financial engagement early, valuing unpaid labor, planning for longer lives and reshaping advisory relationships around empathy and trust.
Divorce does not diminish a woman’s power, but financial unpreparedness can. The solution isn’t fear; it’s foresight. Because when women have money, knowledge and agency, they don’t just survive divorce, they redefine what power looks like.
In my opinion, that is how we begin to solve both the masculinity of wealth and the feminization of power.
